An excerpt from The Happy Stepmom:
“Your happiness as a stepmom is up to you.
That might feel uncomfortable if you’ve reached for this book because you’re miserable. Don’t get me wrong. I get that stepmotherhood is inherently challenging and your situation may royally suck. It’s not entirely our responsibility to make or break our blended families. But let’s start with us because the only thing that we can control is how we show up and what we do. Fortunately, there are things we can do to improve our experience, our relationships, the overall health of our blended families, and our own happiness. That doesn’t mean that if things suck, it’s our fault. In fact, sometimes those things are so bad that we’re faced with the very tough choice of throwing in the towel. But as a control-freak, I love the idea that there are plenty of things we can do to find happiness as stepmoms.
Do you have what it takes to be a happy stepmom? When I became a stepmom, I dove in without even considering whether I was well suited for the role. It turns out, I wasn’t. It turns out that I had to learn a lot about myself and relationships, that I had to change my ways in order to become a happy-ish stepmom. That’s good news for you. If I could do it, I’m sure that you can too.”
An excerpt from Untying The Knot:
“In my work as a divorce financial adviser, I am often shocked at how poorly people treat the ones they used to love.
I should be used to it by now, but it still rattles me. Honestly, I have yet to find anyone who has not succumbed to their darker self at least once or twice as their marriage falls apart, and that includes me. The things I’ve seen represent a laundry list of bad human behaviors. I’ve seen lots of infidelity, slander, and gossip. I’ve watched people spitefully restrict access to kids and pets, flush loads of cash down the toilet in pursuit of revenge, and hold their ex hostage financially by hoarding all the assets. Sadly, I’ve also seen super scary behavior, like killing pets and stalking.
The business of divorce is a tough business. Maybe you and your ex behaved like adults as your relationship came to a peaceful end and you’re thinking about skipping this chapter. But don’t. Divorce is a breeding ground for terrible behavior, so it’s best to consider how you’ll handle wrongdoing.
You might be thinking, “Why bother? I’m getting divorced, after all. I don’t have to live with that jerk anymore. I’m free to hold a grudge forever.” It’s also easy to think that we can put our own bad behavior in a box and shove it into a back corner of our minds.
The thing is, during divorce most people create a long list of stuff for which they blame their ex. And then another long list of stuff about which they feel shame. But if you hang on to all that blame and shame, it will continue to pollute your life, and the toxic vibe will negatively impact your divorce. Blame and shame create suffering during divorce, so let’s talk about ditching them both.”