Soft and Strong

I used to think that being guarded was cool and tough. I used to think that I would be safe if I didn't let anyone get to me. I was missing the big picture. Guarded is cool, tough, and safe but it's also lonely. 

One of the very cool things about aging is that I'm more and more comfortable being uncool. Even more powerful but way less cool, profound heartbreak has torn down my guard. My uncool vulnerability has taught me that the opposite of tough isn't weak, it's soft. It takes guts to be soft. Soft is strong. So now I let people get to me. I show my feelings, the good, the bad, and the somewhat unhinged, and I let the relationship chips fall where they may.

I have gained wildly more intimacy with the people who I love, the people who love me. But it ain't all roses. I also run the risk of rejection, loss, and pain. It's a package deal. That's why it takes fucking guts. Uncool vulnerability ain't for sissies.