More Soft Curves

I’ve spent almost 20 years as a partner in accounting firms. My fellow partners were mainly men. My clients were mainly men. I felt like myself at work, but my masculine characteristics got more airtime. I unconsciously emphasized the things about myself that helped me fit in with all those dudes.

I am happier to lead than to follow. I am assertive and direct. I am goal oriented. I swear like a trucker. Of course, this describes tons of women. But when I embody these qualities, I feel more masculine than feminine. And maybe I have unconsciously valued the masculine over the feminine. Taken pride in being one of the guys.

Now, I am intent on reconnecting with my femininity. Because here's the thing. Emphasizing my masculine qualities at work, works. Emphasizing my masculine qualities at home, not so much.

I get nervous when I think about shifting my way of being.  Who will get things done? It will be chaos. Somebody needs to be in charge. I don't want someone to be the boss of me. I'm the boss of me. OK, settle down. I get it. But, the balance of masculine and feminine doesn't need to be about who's in charge. And, femininity isn't weakness. Femininity is a super-power. Think Mother-Bear. Think creating life.

Reconnecting with my femininity.  Funny. Passionate. Intuitive. Sexy. Nurturing. Comforting. Provider of soul food. Loving. Creative. Less hard edges. More soft curves.

But I'm still going to swear like a trucker. Sorry Grandma.