Chasing Passion

I'm at mid-life. At 53 that's probably optimistic but I'm an overachiever.  I'm driven, motivated, disciplined. Work over play. Fulfillment over pleasure. 

My spirit has been nagging me to make a change. I've been ignoring the nagging because, duh, change sucks. But my spirit is relentless. It's gotten louder and louder. Less work, more play.

I've been resisting this change because I believed I had to choose between fulfillment or pleasure, productivity or play. And if it's one or the other, I choose fulfillment and productivity all day every day (hence the nagging). But I had an epiphany. Maybe I don't have to choose. Maybe I can please my goal-obsessed future self - the woman I've been living for - AND my pleasure-seeking present self - the woman at the bottom of my priority list.

Here's the epiphany. Passions exists where fulfillment and pleasure overlap. For me, hiking on my favourite mountain with my favourite people. Hosting a Halloween party - costumes mandatory. Sharing body, mind, and soul rocking sex. Soaking in a hot bath filled to the brim with oil and bubbles, reading a great book. Strategic planning with brilliant colleagues. My new vision isn't less work and more play. It's more passion.