Peaceful Swells Please

I'm in a sea of change.

My girls are turning 17 and 20 this summer. I'm the opposite of a helicopter mom and they've always been very independent but when Dave died (their dad and my husband of two decades - in case you're new here), we retreated into our tight-knit threesome. Now my girls are emerging from childhood and grief and entering young adulthood. "Mom" is now more who I am and less what I do.

My career is shifting. After spending almost all of my professional life as a partner in public accounting, Dave's death meant leaving that largely behind as I dove deep into the family business that was far more his than mine. But just like my girls, the business is now stable and largely independent. "Business Owner" is now more who I am and less what I do.

I have a new man in my life. Not a puppy this time. A human. A spectacular human. And while I don't compare him with Dave because they occupy distinct parts of my life, heart, and mind, the fact remains that he is very different from Dave. And this relationship is very different as we explore weaving together two well-established worlds.

My life-long strategy of controlling things in an attempt to mold my world into something safe and certain stops working when I'm in entirely new territory with entirely new people. It's like herding thousands of cats. (Sidebar: the controlling thing never really worked but I still loved it). Now that I'm a sea-creature, my strategy is to ride the waves of change, to relax and see where the sea takes me. I'm hoping for floating on peaceful swells as opposed to the waves tossing me roughly onto the beach, winded and naked, with sand in every orifice. (Another sidebar: that happened to me while I was bodysurfing on Kaua'i. I landed directly in front of an older couple and their adult son. None of them cracked a smile. My cheeks still burn at the thought... all of them.)

Wishing you peaceful swells.
Kelly